No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won't make you cry.

As I'm sitting here, I glance over at you sleeping on the couch. You look so innocent. But I know the truth. I know what you've done. The sins you've committed, the lies you've told because of it. The violent outbursts you have. I know the hurtful things you've said, I know all the times you've denied it all. You brought the word untrustworthy to yourself. You blame the world for you problems. You blame it on the people who've cared for you. You blame it on the people who raised you. Why do you yell t me. Why do you tell me you love when you know you never wanted me in the first place. Why do you tell me you love me when you once told you were tired of parenting me. Why do you tell me I have nothing to be sad about. Have you not realized the things you've done to me. The humiliation I've gone through because of you. Tears I've cried because of you. No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won't make you cry. There is one small sentence that came out of your mouth that I will never forget. You said it a few years ago.. But I still can hear it in my head, and I can still see us sitting there and you saying it to me. 'I'm just tired of parenting you'. I feel you have gone through a life well wasted. Thank you for telling me you aren't happy here, with us, and thank you for telling me you don't like your life. All that says to me is I'm not happy with you/ I don't want you anymore.

I love you Daddy.