Its never bad enough to just leave or give up but it's never good enough to feel right...

Why would I let you go even when you told you didn't wanna loose me. You were my life for almost a year. We laughed together, cried together, and spent endless hours together. Why am I giving up. Is there just nothing left inside me. I can't believe I'm giving you up even though you once made me so happy. Your all I think about. You've told me the sweetest things I ever heard, never have I ever been closer to another person. You were my best friend, and also my boyfriend. But of course I ruined both of those. I didn't feel like I wanted you anymore, I feel now like I need you.. But I don't know how to just be your friend. In a way we skipped that part. Its never bad enough to just leave or give up but it's never good enough to feel right. I'm so in love with you, but I hate you more than anything. Your not what I want in a guy, so why can't I just say goodbye. Is it because maybe I actually was in love with you? What ever happens I don't want to end up saying I wish I would have done that differently. I'm sorry for the things I've said/done. But sometimes it just feels necessary to get my point across. I miss you, and I just wish you'd tell me how you truly felt.