The confusion is killing me from the inside out . . .

So much chaos going on. My head is spinning faster and faster. It' hard for me to think. All these question I'm being asked are filling up my head and I feel like I'm drowning. All I want is to be saved but I don't see many superhero's around. You're asking me all this stuff but I don't have the answer. There is no answer. I just wish you could understand that. I'm still drowning, and acting on impulse isn't working out so well. Walking on the street in darkness is making me feel lonelier than ever. As I reflect on this night I remember one good thing. I remember a boy, he was nice and kind I tried to be a little close to him but it wasn't working so well, seeing as another boy was in the way. I will try again to be close to my new found friend whom is pretty cute. But as I walk on this dark road the cold is making itself home on my body. I found my hero. He came to save me. I do like this boy but I'm not to sure if he's for me. The boy I really want isn't making much effort, but some. The one I kinda like is liking me more and more. I dunno how much I'm leading him on but it's not nearly as much as I'm trying to lead the first boy on. But then theres that other boy whom is still in the way. slowly but surely I loosing him, I'm sad about this but it's not overly bothering me. Now that my hero picked me up, he's taking me to my home. I hate my home, but it's better than where I was. As I thank him, my brain is spinning. I feel like dying. How do I get the one I really want? If he doesn't work out than I've the other I sorta like. But he's not quite as good. And maybe none of it will work out. Maybe the problem one will get in the way to much more. As I walk in the door I feel upset I didn't do more with my night. But then I remember how I did the right thing by one of my acts of impulse. Leaving the boy in the way was perfect. How could I be so inconsiderate of him though? I guess it doesn't matter because I don't actually care about him. I used to though. He used to be the only thing I cared about. Now I just care about using to find some new loves. He's messing with my head, and getting me all emotional. Care turn to love, love into lust, lust into hate, hate into . . . The End . . .